Down and Up Again…

Creo que ya he comentado este tema por aquí pero, bueno, algo tengo que escribir…

 

Desde hace tiempo me pasa que cada vez que tengo una mala noche, en alguno de mis sueños aparece una persona en concreto…Una persona que nunca me hablara, una persona que nunca leera esto…Y no obstante, y a pesar de la realidad, en el sueño siempre es distinta…

Consigue que me estremezca, me da dolores de cabeza…Me pregunto, ¿por que?

A veces pienso que viene a torturarme, a restregarme algo por la cara, a tocarme la moral, a hacerme sentir peor…

…Ojala…Ojala pudiese darle ese gustazo…

 

…No. Hoy he descubierto que esa persona siempre aparece para recordarme algo…

Y ese algo es que, aunque duela, aunque moleste, pase lo que pase, el sentimiento se ira… Tal vez quede un resquemor amargo que darte pesadillas, pero se ira, y seguiras con tu vida, y te haras mas grande y mas fuerte…

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…Fun night?

-Shut up…

…Wow, well you aren´t in a good mood…

-No quite…I feel quite…Slow…

…Oh dear, here we go….

-Yeah slow and me don´t go well together…

…You don´t say

-It´s just…everything seems odd…

…Darling, I think you are forgetting something. Our lives are odd, everythign gets weird around us…But we deal with it, we embrace what we are and carry on…

-I guess so…

…Hey, you are my favourite human, I don´t think I would stand anyone of your kind like I stand you…You are my something like clever and efficient girl, you are creative and you always find a way…You Are very capable…And if you aren´t then I am, I´ll do it, I´ll take it, this is the way it works…

-Well, yes but you have a quite destructive way of doing things…”You can´t live without the fire…”

…Well, I enjoy the heat, plus, some people don´t understand me otherwise, or take me seriously…Plus you have to admit you are quite fond of the burning too…

-…Mmaaayyyybbbeeee…

…So, let´s burn this place down shall we? It doesn´t suit you to be so down, you need some energy, let´s get down to it…

-I suppose…I could with a bit of chocolate or something…Did i heard caramel?

…Hell yes…

 

So the assassin stood up once again and looked at the dark city in front of her. She knew stuff happened, she knew things reapeated themselves sometimes, she knew things were hard by nature, even the most simple things. But that was life.

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Como dirian en Batman, caemos para levantarnos….Hoy me vuelvo a levantar

La Bruja se va a los “Mundos de Yupi”…Adventure in the City Center =_=

Ayer he hecho algo de lo que no me creia capaz. Algo que no queria hacer. Algo que podia resultar en dolores de cabeza y malos rollos. Ayer me he puesto a prueba. No se si me sentia generosa, o como soy asi de tonta a veces, he decidido que podia sacrificar un poco de mi tiempo por pasarlo con alguien que me cae bien a pesar de esta persona quedar con gente que no es de mi agrado. Podia haberme quedado leyendo Faith and Fire mas feliz que dios, viendo como mis Sisters of Battle se dedican a perseguir witchkins here and there, viendo como Miriya le da por el saco a todo dios, y en definitiva, recuperando el espiritu geeky cool and nice que cuando vengo a España pierdo porque no tengo mi rutina de rol o de warhammer, ni gente con la que practicar tal cosas.

Pero no, he mirado al costado y he dicho…bueno, yo siempre digo que me gustan los retos y las nuevas experiencias…total, despues con un termalgin se soluciona todo, no? Y ahi me he ido a la aventura…

Tuve la desgracia de conocer a un unicornio retrasado, a 3 modelos con las patas “chulas”, demasiado maquillaje y un gusto terrible para vestir. Tambien conoci a un larguilucho que deberia salir del armario, a una idiota que se cree psiquica o algo, porque me llamo Marina despues de apretarse los dedos contra la cabeza, y a otras no se cuantas personas que intentaron darme dos besos! Agh! Germenes por todas partes, dioosss que asco =_=

Aparte de eso eche unas partidas al billar, nos reimos de un pelirrojo pelma, aprendi que los “canis” tambien tienen sentimientos y que la gente de 16 años…sigue siendo gente de 16 años…

Mientras tanto, la persona por la que hice el esfuerzo se paso todo el rato en plan borde, aislandose y de mal humor…Pues que bien, no?

 

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-What now?

…Nothing…

-Lies…what is it?

…You realise what you are doing right? you are concious that you are surrounded by people you dont give a damn and you wish you could end their miserable existance right now, yeah?

-Yes, I’m quite aware of this…your point?

…I thought we didn’t do this kinda things…I mean, we never had…What’s going on?

-I thought to give ourselves a challenge

…You call THIS a challenge?I feel insulted my dear!

-…

…I am sorry, but there is no challenge in here, we can do this with our eyes blided, deff, mouthless, and so on and so forth, what the hell is the catch?

-Aren’t we supposed to do sacrifices for the people we care about? Aren’t we supposed to promote reciprocity?

…You might be, I freaking ain’t…

-…Fine, then am I not?

…Well, let me put this forward to you ok? you do this, yeah? And what you get in return? Is he being less stupid? no, he acting in fact in an even worse way…are you having fun? No, nothing you couldn’t achieve on your own…C’MON! I WAS ENJOYING THE BOOK AND THE KILLING GIRL! Are you doing what you like? Is your life geting better by doing so? ARE YOUR NEURONES STILL ALIVE AFTER HEARING ALL THESE IDIOTIC LINES?!…Cause i would be surprised…

-…So what do you suggest?

…Well…I’m not sure to be honest…I suppose you have proved your point, and you should feel happy that you can do things like this for people you care about but…

-But what?

…Iam not sure you are going to get your beloved reciprocity…I guess that gives you the higher ground…

-It’s not a matter of high or lower ground…I just…

…Just what?

-I was just thinking, maybe in that way he will realise and react…

…Keep dreaming…

-…Or maybe I will finally understand that it doesn’t matter what I do he is never going to act normally again, and so I can let him be, forget him and be gone…

…Wouldn’t it be easier to kill him? Or leaving it to me?

-…I’ll let you know about my thoughts on that subject…After all, I do not discrad them considering the reaction and treat that I am getting from it…

…Fair enough…Just let me know…It’s been a while since I had fun…

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Y para que? Yo de verdad a veces me pregunto si soy tonta o que me pasa…

De cualquier forma no tardare mucho en descubrirlo, ese ha sido mi ultimo intento…More than enough chances for a single person me thinks…

On another note…Me viene una visita muy especial en unos dias asi que…:)

<<Lilly…Being nice for once? :s >>

CLICK

Do you know that moment in which someone is talking to you and suddenly something clicks in your mind? Fast, astonishing, like wild fire, a matter of seconds…Fascinating isn’t it?…

I wonder…what do we know about those “clicks”, why do the happen, and what is their purpose?

It is interesting how many times the chain of consequences they set free turns the whole world upside down…

One of those clicks might send you to the other side of the world and provide you with a brand new life…

It might give you the numbers of the lotery, or the answer for that essay you’ve been working on the whole week (although you’d rather have the numbers of the lotery…)

Sometimes, however, those clicks make odd things happen…even bad things…

Sometimes because something clicked someone is murdered…

Sometimes because something clicked you might find yourself crying in the middle of nowhere…

Sometimes things click and the world ends…and some other it clicks and the world starts spinning again…

…Ohhh Universal Duality you heartless bitch…

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…So here we are again, hum?

-…

…Silent, are you?

-…Shut up…

…Wow…someone is on A Mood…

-…Don’t get me started…

-…

…It’s ok, we…you always manage…

-…that’s not the point…

…you knew it was going to happen…

-now is you the one that gives me moral lessons?

…You know I didn’t mean it that way…Is it that bad?…I guess it has to be if we are here, in the middle of a green hill, with your music sounding like a freaking concert…

-…

…Please…Dom’t cry, it’s not your fault, you are doing the right thing…

-…The right thing?…And it hurts?

…Most of time…Yes…

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Then the woman became a lake of tears on her own. The other one, next to her, hugged her in a patronising but caring way…She knew they needed a wall of steel in that very moment…So she would be it, she would keep her safe…However, it still shocked her how this undestructible agent of the inquisition, an assassin herself, that had to overcome the most indigestous of situations was crying…Because of someone, because of feelings…I guess for someone who has eternity to go, feelings mean nothing anymore…

 

-Lilly…on all hallows eve…-

 

“so is this your first, second, third or fourth home?”

Bueno, vacaciones al final! Ahora ya te puedo dedicar un poco mas de atencion 😀

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Today I have been listening to the same songs in my head= I believe+rock radio+unfinished business

…Sometimes I forget about the sentimental power that music has…How listening to a song can take you somewhere else, to some other place, or time…Good times or bad times, the epic moments, the sad moment, the dramatic moments…

…sSometimes we identify song with things or events…

I have been thinking as well of  the term “Home”…what’s home? is i a place? is it a group of people? can you have different homes?and if so which one takes priority?…and where do you go when you mean you want to go home?…

It confuses me…because well, I need to know where’s my home for when i hear:

“Country roads, take me home, to the place I belong…”

(I’m pretty sure it’s not West Virginia…)

so…I am on holidays…and I guess I am home, at least in one of them…

<<Lilly>>

1m “Stoopid”

People sometimes do stupid things…People sometimes say stupid things…

People sometimes feel stupid…

I do, every now and then, like today for instance…When you realise that a compilation of stupid facts have managed to fuck up your day/week…Especially when you realise that if you would think more in these things you could probably avoid them…

Also, some people sometimes make us feel stupid…

Like when you can’t predict someone, and you noticed you just can’t take that out of your mind because it’s shocking, that makes you feel like an idiot…

Knowing things and not doing anything about it because you are just “paralitica mental” makes you feel like a total bimbo(which by the way it’s not the point)

Sometimes I wish all that attitude I usually have to do things, “repris”, ziszas…whatever, will come to me in the right moment…and not 3 hours later when I can’t really do anything about it, apart from looking like an annoying, pedantic idiot…

Ok…I learn the hard way, but I WILL keep this in mind…

NeVer AgAiN

Lilly

Forward?

No me digas que no puedo volar

No me digas que no puedo apagar el Sol…

No me digas que no puedo gritar, dejar correr la ira que embarga mi razón, la agonia que me sacude cada día, la tristeza que entorpece la esperanza en mi corazón…

No me digas que no puedo llorar, porque mis ojos se resienten y mi voz se quiebra…Que importa una voz quebrada en un mundo que muere en silencio, o unos ojos enrojecidos cuando todos los amaneceres se tintan de sangre…

No me digas para reir hace falta ser ignorante y revolcarse en ello…

…Solo quiero saber que para poder esbozar una melancólica sonrisa tengo que mirar a la luna o las estrellas, que son puras certezas de que la realidad está ahí, de que aún hay luz en la oscuridad, aunque este lejos y sea tenue…

…Dime que aún hay esperanza en la tierra, que todo puede cambiar, que no es el final…

Solo entonces, me levantaré, cogeré mi triste imagen del frío suelo, y avanzaré hacia nuevos horizontes…Con la fé en el mañana, el miedo en el pasado que tiende al olvido, y la pasión en el presente.

…Hasta entonces…

<<Lilly…>>

…Of Blacks, Reds, Blodes and Rock…

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…Believe or not, I managed to find someone that produces me as bad headaches as You Do…

-…Really? I’m surprised…

…Well, My mind couldn’t be yours forever, right?

-…We’ll see…

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Nuevo peinado, nuevo “pelo”. Muy rock n’ roll, hardcore chachi pirulesco…

 

Llevaba todo el dia recordandome a alguien, y al final del día *paf!* epifania: Joan Jett (gracias a Marduk). Rock del viejo, del clasico, del bueno, eso lleva siendo mi banda sonora para hoy…Y me he dado cuenta de algo…Que por mucho que me gustaria cantar a lo Joan Jett…Estoy mas en sintonia con Vixen, Heart o Pat Benatar…

(8) You’re a heartbreaker…(8)…I Have a Target on My Back For a Cupid Dressed in Black…(8)…How do you get me Alone…(8)

 

…Y parece que la noche va a ser larga…Casi puedo garantizar el resultado…

…Pesadillas Y Sueños Raros, de la mano de un extraño encapuchado, cuyo nombre y entidad son enteramente conocidos y aun asi me dan escalofrios…

 

“I think of you every night and day, You took my heart and you took my pride away”

 

…Al final Joan Y Yo tambien conectamos…Supongo…

 

 

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…I don’t like this, you know?

-Bet you don’t…

…I hate…

-Yeah, I know…But that’s like…Innit?

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<<Miss Funky-4coloured-Hair-With-too-much-Rock-on-Her-Vains…Still Wide Awake>>